As I began my healing journey, I spent a great deal of time looking for quick ways to heal. Healing is not instantaneous. It is ongoing, labor-intensive, and at times excruciating. The first change I had to make was accepting accountability for my life, the choices I was making, and some of the people I was spending time with. I also had to come to terms with the realization that it was nobody else's job to make me happy. It was my job to make myself happy. Becoming accountable, I could create the changes I wanted to make. I learned to accept that I was bringing more adversity into my life by complaining, being ungrateful, and requiring changes in others to suit my expectations.
Make a commitment to Focus on You. Saying yes to you is the first step in creating a healing foundation for yourself. One of the first ways we fail at this is by making the excuse that it is selfish to focus on ourselves. You bet it is. Let's be self-ish in useful and creative ways.
Choosing to commit to you is the first step to take in creating the life you desire and putting your thoughts of change into action. Most of us have a struggle with committing to ourselves, and we have many excuses. Do any of these sound familiar?
· It's selfish to focus on me.
· I'm too busy.
· I was taught to live this way.
· When ________ happens, then I'll be happy.
· I'm not worth the effort.
· My __________ won't be comfortable if I change.
Bogus. Hogwash. Crap. Excuses.
Stop worrying about what other people are going to think of how you decide to heal your life. The people who love you are going to enjoy watching and helping you heal. Those that criticize and judge need to spend some internal time on themselves and go inside for their answers.
Making a commitment to yourself doesn't mean all your changes have to be made at once. It means you are acknowledging there are things in your life that you have a desire to do differently. As complicated humans, we tend to over-think words like commitment.
Let's simplify commitment to: "There are things in my life that I choose to change."
It's okay if you don't know what all the changes are going to be. You can't foresee the future, but you can begin today, making one small change at a time to create the foundation you need to continue your healing processes.