I put out a distress call to the Universe one day. My message was clear and concise. "I need my heart to feel again". I didn’t speak the words verbally. I didn’t use thoughts alone. I used a medium that is much more powerful in my world. I used the written word. On a small white piece of paper, I printed, "I need my heart to feel again". And then I signed it with my first initial, “B.” I usually turn my “B” sideways, so it looks a bit like a heart.
I had closed my heart down years before. I’d created walls and distance. I had withdrawn myself. I locked feelings out. I locked feelings in. All of these were keeping me from giving and receiving love. Because of painful events in my life, I created what I thought was protection against collecting pain and hurt in my heart. What I had ultimately created was a heart prison. This prison was debilitating in so many ways, and only I could release myself from its grasp.
Sometimes it doesn’t take much to hurt our heart. An unkind look, a thoughtless comment, or a mean gesture all can hurt us. If small things can hurt, just imagine the internal heart havoc when a child is in crisis, a spouse finds attention with another person, or we suffer the loss of a loved one. If we are living a physical life, we will probably have several occasions throughout where our hearts will hurt.
I was no exception. I feel what I feel, and being a highly sensitive person has also had an impact on how I process and resolve situations near and dear to me. When I realized I needed some help, it wasn’t because my heart hurt. It was because my heart wasn’t feeling much of anything. My protective measures had done their job too well. I was numb. I had lost my ability to feel things deeply and empathetically. I was on life autopilot. Living this way was no longer acceptable. I wanted more. I wanted my heart to feel again.
I could have reached out for professional therapy, not for the first time. I could have seen a physician and requested medication, also not for the first time. Those methods both worked at one point in my life. But, something was different this time. I needed a shift in my life, a significant change.
So, I sent out a distress call to the Universe. I planned it very carefully. I spent time creating my written message. I also had a previously chosen location where I would place my plea for guidance. I was desperate, and I was willing and ready to produce some healing results.
I put my walking shoes on and headed down a maintained trail on an island in Alaska. Others had also used the spot where I would release my desire for a shift. There were coins, and other tiny objects pressed into the moss-covered rock wall that was my destination. I was alone on the trail, but not feeling lonely. My desire to evolve into a better version of myself was very empowering. The Powers energized me. I was asking for assistance.
I located the spot on the wall where I would leave my heartfelt message. I folded it up so it would fit in a small space and pressed it into the wall between two rocks. The moss was damp, and the sunlight was reflecting off the many raindrops surrounding the chosen location where I placed my written appeal for Divine assistance. I looked up at the sky, gave a small tentative smile, and walked back to my car.
As the weeks went by, my work and pursuit of higher education took over and created busy in my life that sometimes overtakes mindfulness. I forgot about my request until assistance started to show up.
When I placed my note so carefully on the wall, I had not asked for help in any specific way. I had only asked for help with feeling again. This would prove to be the first of many requests for assistance from Source Energy. All of which receive answers. Sometimes in expected and straightforward ways and sometimes with such creativity, I can almost see a twinkle in their eye as it is delivered. It has become apparent to me that the Universe has a sense of humor and always knows what is best for me.
About a year after I tucked my message to the Universe into a mossy rock wall as a plea for assistance and guidance, I retrieved the note I wrote. It was dirty and weathered but still intact. The Universe got my request and has been sending me growth opportunities and like-minded individuals intent on healing their lives. It has also sent people and situations that will challenge me to remain steadfast in my desire to create internal calmness, that I can rely on to carry me through difficult and uncertain times.
Healing work is ongoing, and it is empowering. We have the power, capability, and choice to make whatever changes we wish to in our lives. Here’s a word of advice. If you put out an SOS to the Universe, prepare yourself for the shower of love and many growth opportunities. I sent a distress call to the Universe one day, and even years later, Source keeps sending me love.