Today is Thursday. It’s a workday. After working for a few hours and feeling like I wasn’t accomplishing anything, I permitted myself to go on a lunch date with myself. The permission included being present at lunch. I opted to have a meal at one of my favorite restaurants, distraction-free. By that, I mean, unplugged and being in the moment with myself.

A few years ago, this would have been an uncomfortable prospect for me. I wasn’t all that comfortable in my own skin, nor was I excited about being present on purpose. These days, it’s different.

When I’m dining out, I make my food and beverage choices reasonably quickly. I read the menu until I find something that sounds good, and then I stop reading and order my food. I’m not sure when I developed this simplified version of choosing what to eat off a menu but, it works well for me.

My beverage of choice was Stewart’s Root Beer. It came in a bottle, so I had the pleasure of pouring it over ice, watching the bubbles foam up, and smelling it. The scent transported me back in time to family gatherings with homemade root beer. This reminiscing evokes many wonderful childhood memories, such as eating the root beer slush out of the top of the cooler used in the brewing process.

Next came my homestyle meal on a nostalgic blue and white floral plate. I don’t remember ever having dinner on a pretty plate there before. I looked around at other tables. Nobody else was eating on a dinner plate that could have come from their grandmother’s china cabinet. The beautiful plate added another level of joy to my lunchtime adventure. The food was terrific. I enjoyed the colorful array with flavors that blended well. I savored every bite. I refrained from taking a picture of my plate. That would have broken my unplugged lunch rules.

While I ate, I gazed out the window, noticing the changing colors of nature in trees on the distant mountainside. I also observed people at the tables around me. I enjoyed listening to laughter and conversations. That level of social interaction was enough to feed this introvert’s soul. I rarely need to be in the middle of things; just being on the outskirts in observance is enough.

I’m grateful for quality time with myself and the ability I have cultivated to be content with stillness. I think I’ll take myself on a lunch date every Thursday.




Accepting Accountability

As I began my healing journey, I spent a great deal of time looking for quick ways to heal. Healing is not instantaneous. It is ongoing, labor-intensive, and at times excruciating. The first change I had to make was accepting accountability for my life, the choices I was making, and some of the people I was spending time with. I also had to come to terms with the realization that it was nobody else's job to make me happy. It was my job to make myself happy. Becoming accountable, I could create the changes I wanted to make. I learned to accept that I was bringing more adversity into my life by complaining, being ungrateful, and requiring changes in others to suit my expectations.


Make a commitment to Focus on You. Saying yes to you is the first step in creating a healing foundation for yourself. One of the first ways we fail at this is by making the excuse that it is selfish to focus on ourselves. You bet it is. Let's be self-ish in useful and creative ways.

Choosing to commit to you is the first step to take in creating the life you desire and putting your thoughts of change into action. Most of us have a struggle with committing to ourselves, and we have many excuses. Do any of these sound familiar?

· It's selfish to focus on me.

· I'm too busy.

· I was taught to live this way.

· When ________ happens, then I'll be happy.

· I'm not worth the effort.

· My __________ won't be comfortable if I change.

Bogus. Hogwash. Crap. Excuses.

Stop worrying about what other people are going to think of how you decide to heal your life. The people who love you are going to enjoy watching and helping you heal. Those that criticize and judge need to spend some internal time on themselves and go inside for their answers.

Making a commitment to yourself doesn't mean all your changes have to be made at once. It means you are acknowledging there are things in your life that you have a desire to do differently. As complicated humans, we tend to over-think words like commitment.

Let's simplify commitment to: "There are things in my life that I choose to change."

It's okay if you don't know what all the changes are going to be. You can't foresee the future, but you can begin today, making one small change at a time to create the foundation you need to continue your healing processes.







Updated: Aug 14

I put out a distress call to the Universe one day. My message was clear and concise. "I need my heart to feel again". I didn’t speak the words verbally. I didn’t use thoughts alone. I used a medium that is much more powerful in my world. I used the written word. On a small white piece of paper, I printed, "I need my heart to feel again". And then I signed it with my first initial, “B.” I usually turn my “B” sideways, so it looks a bit like a heart.

I had closed my heart down years before. I’d created walls and distance. I had withdrawn myself. I locked feelings out. I locked feelings in. All of these were keeping me from giving and receiving love. Because of painful events in my life, I created what I thought was protection against collecting pain and hurt in my heart. What I had ultimately created was a heart prison. This prison was debilitating in so many ways, and only I could release myself from its grasp.

Sometimes it doesn’t take much to hurt our heart. An unkind look, a thoughtless comment, or a mean gesture all can hurt us. If small things can hurt, just imagine the internal heart havoc when a child is in crisis, a spouse finds attention with another person, or we suffer the loss of a loved one. If we are living a physical life, we will probably have several occasions throughout where our hearts will hurt.

I was no exception. I feel what I feel, and being a highly sensitive person has also had an impact on how I process and resolve situations near and dear to me. When I realized I needed some help, it wasn’t because my heart hurt. It was because my heart wasn’t feeling much of anything. My protective measures had done their job too well. I was numb. I had lost my ability to feel things deeply and empathetically. I was on life autopilot. Living this way was no longer acceptable. I wanted more. I wanted my heart to feel again.

I could have reached out for professional therapy, not for the first time. I could have seen a physician and requested medication, also not for the first time. Those methods both worked at one point in my life. But, something was different this time. I needed a shift in my life, a significant change.

So, I sent out a distress call to the Universe. I planned it very carefully. I spent time creating my written message. I also had a previously chosen location where I would place my plea for guidance. I was desperate, and I was willing and ready to produce some healing results.

I put my walking shoes on and headed down a maintained trail on an island in Alaska. Others had also used the spot where I would release my desire for a shift. There were coins, and other tiny objects pressed into the moss-covered rock wall that was my destination. I was alone on the trail, but not feeling lonely. My desire to evolve into a better version of myself was very empowering. The Powers energized me. I was asking for assistance.

I located the spot on the wall where I would leave my heartfelt message. I folded it up so it would fit in a small space and pressed it into the wall between two rocks. The moss was damp, and the sunlight was reflecting off the many raindrops surrounding the chosen location where I placed my written appeal for Divine assistance. I looked up at the sky, gave a small tentative smile, and walked back to my car.

As the weeks went by, my work and pursuit of higher education took over and created busy in my life that sometimes overtakes mindfulness. I forgot about my request until assistance started to show up.

When I placed my note so carefully on the wall, I had not asked for help in any specific way. I had only asked for help with feeling again. This would prove to be the first of many requests for assistance from Source Energy. All of which receive answers. Sometimes in expected and straightforward ways and sometimes with such creativity, I can almost see a twinkle in their eye as it is delivered. It has become apparent to me that the Universe has a sense of humor and always knows what is best for me.

About a year after I tucked my message to the Universe into a mossy rock wall as a plea for assistance and guidance, I retrieved the note I wrote. It was dirty and weathered but still intact. The Universe got my request and has been sending me growth opportunities and like-minded individuals intent on healing their lives. It has also sent people and situations that will challenge me to remain steadfast in my desire to create internal calmness, that I can rely on to carry me through difficult and uncertain times.

Healing work is ongoing, and it is empowering. We have the power, capability, and choice to make whatever changes we wish to in our lives. Here’s a word of advice. If you put out an SOS to the Universe, prepare yourself for the shower of love and many growth opportunities. I sent a distress call to the Universe one day, and even years later, Source keeps sending me love.


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